How should I address an invitation to my aunt — Nell Darwish. My Uncle George (her husband) has been dead for 20 years.
— RND, Nashville
Dear RND:
I’d address Nell Darwish’s invitation as follows:
Outside envelope (most formal form for a widow):
Mrs. George Darwish
(Address)
Inside envelope (using whatever call Nell in conversation … for example):
Aunt Nell
Many etiquette books (no mine of course) give the form for the inside envelope as … Mrs. Darwish. The tradition is — the outside envelope was for the post office — and as it likely was soiled in route, it was removed by the household staff and only the inside envelope would have been presented to the recipient … probably on a silver tray. So I say what the tradition is that you write what you would write on a birthday card you hand carry to a party.
So while Mrs. Darwish is O.K. she’s a member of the family and I’d use the more intimate form, Aunt Nell, which expresses the warmth that’s intended with the invitation.
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